Here is a truth I learned over the past weeks: Publishing a newsletter is hard. Not so much writing a single newsletter but producing one every week. Keeping at it. Staying motivated.
When I launched Onward three months ago, my spirit was high. There was also nervousness, for sure. I might be an experienced journalist and book author but starting a newsletter felt different and much more personal.
On the other hand, I had put a lot of thought into this project and done a lot of prep work: defining what the newsletter would be about, choosing a platform I like, getting familiar with the technical ins and outs, finding a graphic designer to help me with a banner and logo, collecting ideas for specific topics, writing a couple of posts in advance, approaching friends and other people who might be interested in signing up. I felt well prepared.
Then came the launch. A lot of questions. Will the technical side work? Do the posts look professional and appealing? How will my first readers respond? Will I be able to pick up new subscribers? Can I come up with an interesting topic every week?
First, there was excitement. The newsletter reached the subscribers’ inboxes without problems and the layout looked good. The content was well received, too. I got great feedback from my readership which, admittedly, was small in numbers and consisted mostly of friends. Anyway, it felt like a good start.
Quickly, a certain routine set in. Choosing a topic, doing research, writing it all up, editing the text with the help of a native speaker friend, finding images to illustrate the posts.
With every week the newsletter went out without issues, my fear of technical hiccups subsided. But other doubts crept in. The subscriber number hardly moved up, only very little growth over the weeks.
Also, it just took me too long to produce a post every week - actually two, when you count the German edition. My regular journalistic work continues, and I realized how hard it is to accommodate it all. The weeks seemed to get shorter and shorter; the next Friday, aka the next newsletter, always seemed around the corner. Pressure rose. I got more and more frustrated scolding myself for not being able to make it work better.
Last week, I reached a low point. On my desk sat a magazine article that is due soon. Another Onward post needed to be finished. To make matters worse, I suffered from nasty shoulder and neck pain which slowed me down and sapped a lot of my energy.
I hate to say it, but I was ready to give up. Why not just stop writing the newsletter, I thought. Why continue with this endeavor that adds so much work and doesn’t seem to go anywhere? Why try to learn something new - acquiring subscribers, finding a newsletter formula that is more sustainable – when I could just stick to my regular work that I know and do well? I finished last week’s Onward post after all and sent it out on Friday. But I crossed the work week’s finish line more crawling than walking. This is it, I thought. Next week, I let my readers know that I quit the newsletter.
Over the long Labor Day weekend, Niko and I drove up to Humboldt Redwoods State Park with our campervan Balou. We cruised along the Avenue of the Giants and were in awe. Some of the coast Redwoods towering over the route are several hundred yards tall and more than a thousand years old. These majestic trees have a way of shifting your perspective.
Being in nature, having time to hang out and think, I felt my usual energy and positive outlook return. Was quitting really the right way forward, I wondered. Or am I throwing in the towel too soon? Onward is about tackling new things and embracing change, after all. Are doubts, detours, and missteps not part of the learning game?
The word grit appeared in my mind. What does it take to be grittier, I wondered. I remembered an interview with Angela Duckworth, a leading researcher on this topic who I interviewed some years ago. How would she see my struggles? I promised myself to not call it quits quite yet, but to give myself more time to explore this.
So here we are. It is Friday again and I sent out another newsletter. It is certainly the most personal post so far and the most painful in some ways. Interestingly, it is also one of the most satisfying to me. I take it as an important lesson. Let’s see where it takes us.
See you next Friday!
Logo & Banner Design by Judy Higgins